There are the exceptions, the men who finally give in when pressured endlessly, but these relationships don’t last. I have a friend who says “I won’t stop trying to hook it until it’s mine.” She will be relentless in her activities and ultimately she will end up having to be deceitful in some way. She doesn’t believe in the allure of mystery or playing hard to get. In the end, she ends up disappointed. Eventually these men figure it out and head out the door. Men are a mindless race. ‘It is what it is’. Men are not as likely to play hard to get and cause total confusion as women are. If you’re not sure if her intentions are sincere, here are some signs that she has you hooked.

1. He calls on the phone.

Usually when guys start to think that things might be tense in the relationship and something doesn’t feel right…they will call and try to find out what it is. If you’ve dated him a few times and have a feeling he might be the one, but he’s hard to reach. Then you may need to take a second look and move on before hanging to dry. He’s just not interested if you can’t reach him easily.

Most men know that by calling you they are showing interest. Unless he is shy and scared when dealing with women, he will call you. Once you’ve been on a few dates and real connections and feelings have been formed, men will go to great lengths to contact you. He calls you to say “I was thinking about you, so I thought I’d call you.” If the guy’s problem is that he’s shy or intimidated, you don’t want to be the one who has to train him for the benefit of his future girlfriends… do you?

2. Includes you in family activities.

He invites you to places with friends or family. If he includes you in activities with his relatives, he wants you to be a part of his life. Why would you take a person you don’t give a damn to meet your family? Then, she will have to suffer all the questioning later when they ask about her. Meeting the family is a big deal for a man, and in his opinion, it is a big step. So if you played scrabble with mom and dad on “Scrabble Day Saturday,” his weekly ritual, he thinks you’re definitely a girlfriend.

3. He suggests that you leave things at his house.

If he asks you to leave a change of clothes, toiletries, etc. instead you are then acknowledging a compromise. Mind you, if he’s keeping your things in a box in the basement at the end of a maze with a retinal scan to clear, then he’s hiding your relationship from someone. If his things are out of sight, or where anyone stopping to visit can easily discover them, he isn’t taking their time together seriously. Or even worse, he has someone else he cares about, and you’re the one who helps him get lost. If you can drop your bright pink toothbrush into the space next to hers, you’re in.

4. He lets you drive his car. Not because I’ve been drinking. / And without him as a passenger.

If you drive a car that doesn’t have a rear seat because it was stolen and the rear window is covered with plastic wrap, then this should not apply. You probably shouldn’t be driving that car anyway. This is for the guy who loves his car, spends hours waxing it, and takes pride in taking care of it. If he gives you the keys to his most prized possession, and not because it’s a matter of life and death (a designated driver), you’ve been deemed trustworthy. In his mind, he is showing the utmost trust in you, and his apartment keys will soon follow.

5. He says “I love you” without any hope of sex in sight.

If you’re walking down an aisle at the local market and he stops you to say “I love you,” he really does. Men are overwhelmed with emotion in the sack but this is short lived and in the tugs of passion, it is not wise to put all your faith in their words. Men are like a valve that opens when the pressure builds, this is the same for sex, but also for feelings and love. For men it is action that counts, not words. But if at the most random and unpredictable moment he expresses his feelings for you and he has nothing to gain in the immediate future, he means it.

There are exceptions to this, but this applies if you’re not sure at the beginning of a relationship. If the two of you have been together for a few months and in bed he says that he loves you, then listen to him. Some men could take a whole year to get the words out. He always tries to look at the context in which he expresses his undying love for you. Never say “I love you” first. Ever. Even if he loves you, he might freak out and feel like things are getting out of hand. Out of his control, that is.

If the two of you have been together for a long time, you should know where he stands in his love for you. If she doesn’t, then she has bigger fish to fry. Women have their hearts broken every day by men they trust. Those who have thrown caution to the wind and ended up being swept away or tossed aside, might have softened the blow if they had guarded their hearts a bit.

Men can be influenced by many things that can affect how they view a budding relationship. Friends, family, past heartbreaks, and fear of commitment. That they express themselves naturally and without pressure. If he’s not talking about his feelings all the time, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have real feelings for you.


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