To give pleasure to a woman, it is important to understand the stages of the female orgasm and what they mean to give pleasure and satisfaction to your partner.
In Western terms, the female orgasm is (from the Greek orgasmos, “to swell”), also known as a sexual climax; a pleasurable physical, psychological, and emotional response to prolonged sexual stimulation.
A female orgasm, like a male one, is often accompanied by a noticeable physiological reaction, such as flushing with or without spasms, and may be followed by additional spasms known as aftershocks.
In the East, as described in the Chinese Tao of Sex, the female orgasm is much more categorized and is said to have 9 stages.
Most men (East and West) who are not aware of the 9 stages often stop at stage 4, thus depriving the woman of the maximum pleasure available to her. The 9 stages are like:
The 9 stages of the female orgasm
1. The “lung” stage, where the woman “sighs”, breathes very hard and salivates.
2. The “heart” stage where the woman is kissing her man often by extending her tongue towards him.
3. The “spleen, pancreas, and stomach” stage where a woman’s muscles tense and she grips her man tightly.
4. The “kidney and bladder” stage where the woman experiences a series of vaginal spasms and will have a lot of vaginal discharge simultaneously. The untrained man believes that this is the climax.
5. The “bone” stage, where the woman’s joints loosen and she bites her partner.
6. The “liver and nerve” stage, where the woman snakes under or over her man, wrapping her arms and legs around him.
7. The “blood” stage, where the woman’s blood feels like it’s boiling and she’s grabbing her man from all sides.
8. The “muscle” stage, where the woman’s muscles completely relax, but she has been known to grab even tighter and bite on the man’s nipples.
9. The “full body” stage, where the woman finally collapses and feels what is known as the little death.
Psychological stages of female orgasm
Certainly, the Eastern approach to female orgasm is much more organized than a simple “sexual climax.” But looking more closely, let’s understand what is happening physiologically.
Female orgasm is preceded by wetting of the vaginal walls and an enlargement of the clitoris due to increased blood flow trapped in the spongy tissue of the clitoris.
Many women exhibit a sexual flush; a reddening of the skin over much of the body due to increased blood flow to the skin. As a woman approaches her orgasm, her clitoris retracts under the clitoral hood and the labia minora darken (due to blood swelling).
As her orgasm becomes imminent, the vagina decreases in size by 25% to 40% and also becomes congested due to soft tissue engorgement. The uterus may then undergo muscular contractions.
A woman experiences a full orgasm (in Western terms) when the uterus, vagina, and pelvic muscles undergo a series of rhythmic contractions. Most women find these contractions very pleasurable.
It is at this point that Western and Eastern designs differ. In Western thought, after the orgasm is over, the clitoris re-emerges from under the clitoral hood and returns to its normal size in less than 10 minutes.
Multiple female orgasms
Unlike men, women have either no or a very short refractory period and therefore may experience a second orgasm soon after the first; Some women may even follow this with additional consecutive orgasms, as many as eight have been reported among some people; this is known as having multiple orgasms. In Eastern thought, these are just part of the process.
Again, in Western thought, a distinction is sometimes made between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm. A female orgasm that results from the combined stimulation of the clitoris and vagina is called a combined orgasm. In Eastern thought, this is approaching stage 9.
A final consideration is the case of female ejaculation. It is not considered at all in Eastern thought, but there is a longstanding discussion in the West about the existence of female ejaculation (colloquially known as squirting or bubbling).
This refers to expulsion of noticeable amounts of fluid from the urethra or vagina during sexual stimulation at or near orgasm.
The expelled fluid is variously reported as:
o Urine, possibly due to stress incontinence,
o A clear or milky fluid that emerges (sometimes forcefully), is similar in composition to the fluid generated in men by the prostate gland, and is generated by Skene’s glands, or
o A mixture of these two fluids.
o None of the above, but just excess vagina
lubricating fluids, and is a concept used to support feminist theory or material of interest for pornographic films.
The fact is that the female orgasm goes through several stages knowing what these stages are and what to expect means you can respond and guide women to maximum satisfaction.
Find out how to help your women have an orgasm in part 2
This is discussed in part 2 “Helping Your Women Orgasm Every Time”.
