Hiring a nanny is not like an employer hiring an employee. Even though a nanny will see her child or children at her best and worst, she must still love that child. A babysitter will see your family in an uproar and also at the celebrations. A nanny really should become a trusted and loved member of the family. A nanny should be there for the long haul for the greatest benefit of her child. You go through the interview process and get almost all the green lights. Just keep your eyes open for several months and be more aware of the sitter and your child’s behavior. Remember, in this current job drought, someone may not necessarily apply as a nanny because she loves children, but because she is desperate for a job.

1) If your toddler starts sobbing as you’re about to leave, that doesn’t necessarily reflect on the babysitter. Most young children are attached to their mothers. When babies are several months old, they begin to discern between family members and strangers, and feel some apprehension toward people they don’t recognize. They may shed a few tears when the parent is about to leave, but this calms down as they grow older or get used to the individual. Since you can decode your child’s crying, you can often tell if he is crying out of fear or if it is normal crying. However, be sure to return home unexpectedly and see what happens after she’s gone.

2) No union yet. What if the baby and the babysitter have been together for six months and still haven’t bonded? What if the toddler doesn’t like the babysitter or the babysitter is easily irritated by the child’s behavior? It could be a sign of trouble. It’s important that baby and nanny have the right chemistry for it to work. There must also be a link to your family. After all, if you stay long term, you’ll be with your family for countless hours.

3) Is it difficult for you and your help to work together smoothly? Her personal relationship with her nanny is very important because she must entrust her child and everything in her home to her. Watch out for a babysitter who is sullen or won’t talk; she could have bad feelings towards you, which in turn will affect the way she treats her child. For example, if she chooses not to follow her instructions, especially on issues important to you, or if she criticizes the way she is raising her child, that could be a sign of danger. Although you should welcome constructive feedback, it’s never pleasant to work with a bossy and disapproving babysitter.

4) Do you help invite people over to your house when you are at work or out of town? Your place is your workplace and should be handled with respect as an official workplace. The problem with bringing people into your house when you’re away, especially relatives, boyfriends or your own children, is that it becomes all too easy to neglect the work and supervision that is supposed to be done. In addition, you must respect the privacy of your home, it is your castle.

5) Does the babysitter stick to schedules? If she does not live in her house, she should arrive a few minutes before the call time. She shouldn’t come up with regular excuses for why she has to be late or why she has to have an extra day or two off. Of course, there are always important events or emergencies that you should be generous about; just don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. A good caregiver must also maintain routines, with feeding, sleeping and bathing times. If this is not the case, it may not be reliable in the long run.

Here’s to a great long-term relationship with a nanny who will become a beloved part of your family.

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