I’m just going to say it: I hate it when people don’t say “No.” I understand that this may seem strange at first glance. Shouldn’t you rather have people say “Yes”? Not quite. What I prefer is for people to speak honestly and with integrity. Sometimes that means saying “no,” and that’s a good thing.
In today’s world, it doesn’t seem to matter who you are; Politicians, business owners, customer service representatives, teachers, parents, potential clients, hiring managers… no one wants to say no. In fact, most people will go out of their way to avoid having to say no. Society tells us we’re just being polite, but I maintain that it’s actually extremely rude not to say no. Politicians lose their moral and ethical values trying to appease everyone. A business owner expects his employees to work overtime because he cannot refuse a customer’s unreasonable demand. A customer service representative asks tough questions, further frustrating the customer, but politely never says no. A potential customer keeps wasting a salesperson’s time because he doesn’t want to insult the salesperson with a “no.” A job applicant anxiously awaits the promised, but never received, phone call about the job.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:37, “Just let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’ be ‘No’; anything beyond this is from the evil one.” We complicate our world and throw our sincerity overboard by not speaking clearly and with certainty. But let’s not limit ourselves to disguising the second part. Jesus teaches that it is wrong, misleading and false to evade a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Our society is suffering today because no one knows who or what to trust. Nobody speaks clearly anymore. The result is a culture centered on self-preservation, fear, and uncertainty. With no one to trust, all we can do is protect ourselves, be suspicious of everyone, and pray or hope for a better tomorrow.
A better tomorrow cannot begin until you and I are willing to be open and honest enough to say no. I’m not talking about taking a position saying “no” to the direction our society is heading or to some big political or cultural issue. I’m literally talking about just saying “no” in everyday life. When a customer asks a question or request that you can’t fulfill, just say no. When the seller calls for the fifteenth time, don’t say maybe later, say no; let it pass to greener pastures. Call the poor applicant who was expecting the call from him a week ago and tell him he didn’t get the job, after all, he promised he would. Is it better to break a promise or say no? Is it more ethical to incite people or to say no? Is it better for customer service to confuse customers through layers of policies, exceptions, and rules, or is it more effective to say no?
People yearn for strong leaders, sincere teachers, moral business, and honest answers to simple questions. People yearn to speak candidly, and you can’t be more direct than to say “no.” So the next time you feel sick to your stomach at the thought of having to say “no,” remember that no is not the problem; the problem is all the walls we put up between our answer and the word no. People are not normally offended by a direct and honest answer. However, they are always offended by being ignored, cheated on, lied to, or abused in some other way by all of our polite tactics that we use to avoid simply saying no.
