For those of you who often wonder why your partner wants to date, I have tried to find three easy ways that will almost ensure the destruction of a close relationship. They are, in no particular order: 1) Fill your relationship jar to the top with sand; 2) park your car in your neighbor’s garage; and 3) “Wolf” cries a lot.
Get two mason jars of the same size. Next to both, place a half gallon of sand and a half gallon of pebbles about half the diameter each. Using the first jar, fill it with sand to the top. Shake it a little gently and refill it. Using the second jar, fill it with pebbles to the top. Shake it gently and try putting a few more pebbles in it. Now let’s go back to the first jar. Try putting some of the pebbles in the jar. You can not! With the second jar, start sprinkling sand carefully, shaking gently as you go. You will be surprised how much sand you can put in. The jars represent the problems in your relationship. Sand represents minor problems, while pebbles represent major problems. You see, if you fill the jar of your relationship with sand, minor problems, you don’t have room to put pebbles, major problems. If you constantly bring up minor issues in your relationship, you will never have a chance to broach major issues, which will surely end the relationship.
Your neighbor has a wonderful looking garage. Your garage seems a bit messy and you’re getting tired of it, so why not open the garage next door and park your vehicle? How do you think your neighbor would react? How do you think the people in your house would react? How would the rest of your neighbors react? DO NOT park your car in someone else’s garage. It will probably go bad a lot and the people in your house will not be very happy. It’s called limits. Infidelity is one of the biggest relationship killers.
Do you remember that fairy tale about the boy who cried a lot wolf? When the wolf actually came and screamed wolf, no one came and they ate him. Nobody trusted him anymore. No one could tell when he was telling the truth or when he was lying. Her trust in him had been violated. The result was that his relationship with others had faded. Relationships are largely based on mutual trust. Without trust there is instability. People become hyper-vigilant and always suspicious. Fuck me once, it’s your fault. Fuck me twice, it’s my fault. People don’t like to feel cheated. When you violate trust, you are ruining a relationship.
Unfortunately, some people do not just one of the above, but two or even all three. Of course, when you ask these people if they knew that their behavior could cause a problem in their relationship, they will always tell you that they knew. However, if you ask them, since they knew, why they did those behaviors anyway, most will come up with an excuse that is best left in a cow pasture.
Much of life is filled with warning signs much like road signs: stop signs; dangerous curves; crosswalk; Speed limits; exit signs; etc. Just like when you drive, if you don’t pay attention to the message of those signs, you risk mild to moderate to severe consequences, not only for yourself, but also for those around you. Pay attention and pay attention to life’s warning signs. Your relationship will be much healthier.
