“I was too strong and now he’s losing interest. Help!” Not only is this an emotionally challenging situation, but it’s also incredibly embarrassing. You’ve met a guy, a great guy, and you think he might be the one for you. So instead of playing it cool and letting the feelings develop between the two of you, you get too strong. You tell him you love him too soon or push him to date you exclusively after a few weeks. It doesn’t take long until you regret it because he left. Is there a way to fix this or have you damaged this budding relationship beyond repair?
Fortunately, this is definitely a solvable problem. Being too strong can certainly derail a budding romance, but it doesn’t have to destroy it completely. Men tend to back off when they feel like the woman they’re seeing is being too aggressive or pushy. She will call less, she will be less available to see you, and if you continue to be more than she can handle, she will end things. That is why he needs to take some action right now to correct her behavior so that his interest will be renewed again.
Before you do anything else, stop coming so hard. Don’t ever mention your feelings or the fact that you can imagine yourself married to him before too long. If you feel like you’re head over heels in love with him, this step is challenging, but necessary. A good approach is to try to see him as a friend, for now. Obviously, this is almost impossible if you love it, but see it as a means to an end. If he can back off and remove all those strong emotions from the equation, he’ll likely open up again.
For starters, don’t constantly call him or pressure him to see you. He tries to relax you and let him get closer to you. If it doesn’t, after a few days, re-initiate contact via email or text. Just a simple “how are you?” or “anything new?” is a good approach. You can also try mentioning something in the news that you know would catch her attention. Keep the interaction short and emotional. Don’t tell him that you miss him or that you’re sorry for your past behavior. Your goal here is simply to set a new tone for the relationship.
It won’t take long for you to realize that something has changed. Once she recognizes that you’re not chasing her around with a wedding dress in hand, she’ll relax and want to spend more time with you again. Show him that there is more to you than being the chaser. Let him assume that role. If he does, he will notice that the entire dynamic of the relationship changes for the better.
