An alternative title for this article could be “Don’t think buying a new car will solve all your problems because it won’t!”
Fast forward to a warm summer day in 1997 and our intrepid Instructor is seen reaching for his checkbook from his chosen auto supplier and voila. Really exciting moment, buying a new car for cash for the first (and probably last) time in his life, he would think. Think again, storm clouds are brewing (Actually I think they can coagulate)
It is worth noting at this stage that the car had been ordered some time before and a set of OEM alloy wheels was to be fitted. Enter the showroom with a big smile on your face, to be met with an equally wide smile from the Service Manager, who was an old friend and adviser to Motoring from many years before. I’m sure the Seller would have preferred to deal with me himself, but in this world he is who you know, not what you know, if you know what I mean. Back in those days, before the gleaming new stainless steel and glass Emporiums we are used to today when visiting major distributors, it was a bit rough and ready and there was no cappuccino on tap. Still, everything was calm, friendly and full of expectations. At this stage there is no indication of what was to come.
Your car is ready Sir; the usual courtesies of being led to the Beast in Waiting (and it turned out to be just that!) and a silence while we had time to gasp and smile and generally feel good about ourselves. The car looked gorgeous with its metallic blue paint, gleaming alloy wheels and power front windows and other niceties.
This was a Wednesday in August, and the sun was shining, the birds were singing (no rain for a change), and all was well as we completed our paperwork and prepared for our new experience. It was indeed a great thrill, but it wasn’t going to last! A few hours later, with only 70 miles on the clock, all the power went out and my hopes went out the window, to be replaced by a feeling that, as it turned out, was totally justified.
The first car problem would not have been so serious had it not been for the fact that my two daughters and I were booked on the Irish Car ferry to the UK the following Sunday at 8:00am. My heart sank when I realized that there were only two days or less until the car would be road-ready. In the event that the vehicle wasn’t ready on time, a replacement car and necessary insurance coverage would have to be ready by the close of the game on Friday and it was now 2:00 pm on Wednesday. Not good!
Back in the showroom, wearing long-forgotten smiles, the campers were unhappy to say the least. I forgot what car we drove home and we were preparing for the worst, which really happened. The fault could not be diagnosed and we reluctantly accepted another, slightly larger, replacement car to take us on our adventure. We were all extremely disappointed not to be able to show off our new machine to family and friends, but it turned out that the larger car was a huge benefit on the return trip with all the extra accretions a 2000 mile trip does to a small family car.
Two weeks later, home safe from a grueling round of overdoses from family, friends, and the freeway, we were hoping to get our royal car back; as I’m sure, it was also looking forward to its new owner (or was it?)
It turned out that two or three automotive electrical engineers had been unable to locate the problem and with the hours passing quickly until the owner arrived, some emergency action was required if a lynching (or worse) was to be avoided. Said Service Manager took the Bull by the Horns and proceeded very quickly, but almost by chance, to discover the malfunction. A simple short in the steering column when the steering wheel was in the fully locked position.
Problem solved—-Happy Campers again…sadly not for long! Never before had he had such a debilitating situation (at least in the motoring sense!) With any new car, for the past twenty-seven years, he was sure the worst was over. much worse in the next twelve months and beyond.
Clearly my plans for the future, which included guaranteed trouble-free motorsports, had suffered a major setback or, as Jim Edwards would say, a “Friday night bump”. Jim, as some of you may know, is a master internet marketing guru and author, although he doesn’t like the term. I’ll put the URL of it in the resource box at the end, for those of you who are interested in a real-life success story. I have to thank Jim for helping me get down to business with my word processor and who knows maybe one day I can afford to walk into a car showroom again and buy the damn place and then maybe, just maybe time, do it. get some service.
It’s too exhausting to relive those heady days, for more than an hour at a time, so the rest of the long story will follow in the next chapter. In the meantime, drive safely and remember that learning is a lifelong occupation.
