Anger is our emotional gatekeeper and, if used effectively, will give us the ability to interact with the world with full awareness of when our emotional doors should stay open and when they should be kept closed.
Imagine the guardian for a moment. She knows that her job is to protect. She also knows that if she is too protective, those inside the gate will starve or suffer from lack of exposure to the outside world.
In the same way, anger protects our most vulnerable emotions. When we feel emotions such as fear, disappointment, pain, grief, loss, rejection, humiliation, jealousy, being taken advantage of, etc. anger forms a protective layer to prevent others from exploiting us further. This is a wonderful tool in our emotional arsenal. Unfortunately, like the overzealous doorman who keeps the door closed, anger can be destructive by fostering isolation from ourselves and from others.
When our anger is appropriate, others will know through good communication that we have been negatively affected by their actions, and in turn we can take action to meet our own needs to alleviate our pain, disappointment, shame, etc. without getting angry unnecessarily.
Let’s see anger for what it is: the emotional gatekeeper that protects our other emotions; however, we must also remember that there is a delicate balance between protection and suffocation.
