Comments from LivingAfterWLS readers indicate that snacking is the biggest problem for people after gastric bypass surgery: the problem is that we eat unhealthy foods, sabotage our weight loss or weight maintenance, and return to normal. spiral of self-loathing that is such an emotional part. of morbid obesity.
None of us go into surgery expecting to be the one to “lost all that weight and gain it back.” None of us go into surgery expecting to become poachers. We all believe we can beat obesity with our “tool” and we all hope to become healthier, more active, and yes dare I say more attractive and happier after WLS and massive weight loss.
So why are we working so hard to defeat the system? Abusing the tool?
I spent some time reading the personal journal I’ve kept since my weight loss surgery and found out some interesting things about myself and my snacking habits. See if these ring a bell:
– Five o’clock in the afternoon is trigger snack time for me because I grew up having an after school snack (hungry or not) and when I walk in the door at night from my adult job I become a child of school and want/need/crave my “after school snack”.
– When I opt for healthy high-protein, low-fat, low-carb snacks, I am remarkably satisfied and pleased with myself. These snacks include cottage cheese, a hard-boiled egg, turkey, unsweetened gelatin, dried meat, almonds.
– Most of the time I opt for soft food snacks: crackers, RitzBitz trail mix, whole wheat toast with peanut butter, and worst of all, pecan and butter crackers. When I indulge in these snacks, I feel dissatisfied, sluggish, and self-loathing. I risk shooting.
– Most of my snacking is covert – I buy a single-serving packet at the convenience store and eat it in private; never at my work desk, never in front of my family. This covert behavior is reminiscent of the days before the WLS and makes me disgusted with myself. “Who the hell are you hiding from?” I asked myself in an entry.
– It never occurs to me to chop up carrots or apple slices or berries, oh no! I’ve convinced myself that rough stuff will rip my belly apart. “I can’t have that,” I say, shaking my head with a lot of willpower and determination.
– My posts about snacking or self-loathing and regret were constantly filled with negative self-talk like “I ate without thinking, AGAIN”, “I ate a nervous snack today”, “I ate a box of animal crackers without a care, never had a bite and then got sick: me “I’m an idiot”, “I was throwing food in my face like a junkyard dog – how ugly it must have looked”, “I made stupid food decisions today and then I ate cake of chocolate with glaze and pulled; It was like I was trying to punish myself and I did.”
– My posts about exercise are always positive and full of words like “felt great”, “could have run another mile”, “feel so strong”, “lots of energy”, “fantastic workout”, “lungs strong feel great.” However, I reach for the snack bag more often than my running shoes. Why can’t I understand how remarkable exercise is to me and that I really enjoy it and like it when I move my body? Why is it such a difficult concept to understand? Why do I prefer to snack and indulge in self-loathing?
– If I see the scale go up, I panic and then snack, almost like I’m sending the message “This (weight loss) was too good to be true; better hurry up and beat myself.”
– Sometimes I have a snack just because it’s there, like before surgery.
– I couldn’t find a single entry that said “I was hungry today, so I had a snack.” That tells me I never snack because I’m hungry. Honestly, I’m rarely hungry, so why am I snacking?
Do these behaviors sound familiar to you? Are they some of the demons you’re fighting these days? Snacking is truly bariatric purgatory because it derails weight loss and causes self-loathing. And worst of all, we do it to ourselves.
For an ongoing dialogue about snacking and strategies to beat the habit after gastric bypass, click on http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com.
