Gina was a 5’10” fire inspector. When she went out to inspect for the city, you could tell she knew what she was doing. However, when she shook your hand, it sent a message of insecurity and lack of power.
Handshakes provide instant feedback on people’s trustworthiness. It may not be fair, but for many of us it’s an instant warning sign that we consciously or unconsciously pay attention to.
For men, a handshake has the same connotation as “looking someone in the eye.” A decent handshake shows respect, the inner strength of a person, reliability; it is instant subconscious feedback.
For example, if two people are applying for a job, a loan, a project, or any personal or business request, and both people are equal in all respects, but one has a firm and strong handshake and the other has the handshake of death, who would it be? are you more inclined to hire or work with?
For women, the handshake conveys their inner strength or their inner weakness. Show if you are someone to take seriously or someone to push or put in your place.
Death handshake number 1: The limp wrist or the wimpy handshake. Has he ever shaken someone’s hand and it felt like shaking hands with a wet noodle? It’s like shaking hands with an insecure and flighty 98-pound wimp.
Death handshake number 2: The claw. This feels like you’re jerking a crab claw; stiff and bony. You feel like shaking hands is the last thing they wanted to do. It conveys the message that you are not important and that what you say does not matter.
Death Handshake Number 3: The Knuckle Buster. When they shake your hand it feels like they are trying to squash it. It’s a power trip to see how strong they are. My opinion is that it just shows how insecure they are. Anyone who has to prove their masculinity by causing someone pain is not someone to be trusted.
Death handshake number 4: I’m hip, I’m cool, and I show off. High-fives, high-fives, fist-bumps, elbow-bumps, or whatever variation is popular this week might be fine with your friends who know the right answer, but trying it with an interviewer has a good chance of failing. Like anything else, it’s important to know the proper setup for using any type of handshake variation. And when applying for a job, the last thing you want to do is be identified as a smug airhead.
The key to developing a good handshake is to practice and get feedback. So shake hands with your family, friends, even strangers and ask them if they thought and felt it was a good handshake. What did it broadcast? Did it convey purpose, strength, vision, confidence or cunning, fear, lack of will, insecurity, and mistrust?
A decent handshake will convey on a subconscious level that you are an equal, that you can be trusted, that you are worthy of being a part of their company.
