We’ve all had those moments in life when we wanted something so badly that we could taste it, feel it, or hear it. You know what I’m talking about. It could be the girl of your dreams, the car of your dreams or just the job of your dreams that you always wanted. One thing is for sure, we have all been there.
When it comes to really wanting things, the word that comes to mind is “despair.”
In my experience, nothing takes a goal further away from you than despair.
However, it’s a bit funny that some schools of thought equate being desperate for a goal, or wanting it so badly, is showing the universe or God how serious you are about that goal or objective.
Oh really?
I personally think not. My experience is that wanting something so desperately, or being desperate for it, only leads to one making the wrong decisions. You are not making decisions out of the flow, or out of joy or gratitude. No way! When you are in a state of despair, you are almost on the verge of feeling hopeless or giving up completely (in a negative sense).
Here is my friend’s account of his experiences after leaving college and in desperate need of money and support, and how he overcomes challenges using the power of letting go:
“I was once so desperate for money that I almost got into a money laundering ring. The circumstances were interesting when I look back. It’s almost as if some force was driving me to make the wrong decisions due to financial desperation. Let me in. more in details.
My girlfriend of four years at the time had broken up with me, saying she needed “space” at first, without giving any obvious reason. When I look back, that was meant to protect me from the fact that I had met another person who was accommodating to his material needs at the time. Please note that we were both college students at the time.
So one month turned into three months, and then he started gossiping about the fact that he had started dating again, hinting to me that I should start seeing other people. I told him not to worry as I am in the process of looking for a job so I will put that on the back burner.
I was a pretty decent boy at the time, I didn’t care much about money and material things. My main concerns were keeping my mind, body and spirit active and positively engaged in beneficial activities.
What took me to the ‘dark side’ was the call I received that fateful day from my then girlfriend who just wanted ‘space’. He called me to explain that he will send me some photos of here with a new hairstyle. I was cool, because he knew I liked his short haircuts. So she emailed me the photos and I saw her in this car; it was a really sexy top drop beetle. I thought it was one of his girlfriends, so I said, “You look sexy in that car. Which girlfriend of yours got this beauty from her rich dad?” I said jokingly. Then he threw the bomb at me. She told me, “This is a guy’s car I’m dating. He has a successful business and he’s in his thirties.” I was speechless.
Please note that we are both students. Whatever money I made from my side jobs, I shared it with this girl, because I loved her. I was a few months away from graduating and I was actively looking for work.
When he said those words to me, I felt like I was being stabbed in the back. What added insult to injury was that she considered him a “good man” and that I should be happy for her, with her new “friend.” I was angry, I started yelling on the phone and then I hung up.
Thus began level one of despair and depression. I couldn’t sleep for two nights because my blood was boiling. So I accepted the fact that she moved on. However, the only strange thing is that she wanted to keep in touch with me, which I was totally against. I was fine with it for a few months, then around December things took another turn for the worse.
I got an innocent text message at first saying “Hi, what are you doing this Christmas break?” I was like “nothing, just creepy. What about you?” Boy, did it open up a world of emotional pain for me by asking that innocent question. She proceeded to tell me how she will go to her new boyfriend’s parents’ house in the country for the Christmas holidays so that he can introduce her to his family.
Keep in mind that we were together for four years, whereas it was only four months when she met this guy. “
Enter level two of despair.
Despair Level Two is interesting, as you want quick money, along with the desire for revenge and greed.
“So here I was, desperate for money, and also wanting revenge, to show that I can get money too, because, as my ex-girlfriend had shown, material wealth was her weakness, and I was on the extreme end of it. wealth shortage.scale.
Now I had a mission to earn quick money in the shortest time possible and to show my ex that I, too, could be materially successful. Terrible combination! If he had accepted the fact that my ego was bruised and I was emotionally scarred, I would have gotten over it faster. But apparently life had other plans for me. “
Letting go of wanting to control the outcome of a situation may be the hardest thing to do, but with perseverance, you will succeed.
“I started hanging out with the wrong crowds, participating in shady financial activities, and considering money laundering. I just wanted to have it all, the money, the cars, the women. The promise of huge amounts of money in your bank account for just being Broker is very attractive, especially if you are a bankrupt student who has just finished college and you need a job to pay your bills.
It was only after my second frustrated murky financial transaction that I realized that it just wasn’t meant to be and that I should go.
I heard stories about divine intervention, but never experienced such until one day I felt extremely bad, without money, with a wounded ego and heart.
I was crossing the street feeling depressed, when suddenly the words were clear in my head: “You are not a loser. You were destined to succeed. All is not lost.” It felt like the scene in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, where Frodo collapses after the fight with Gollum for the ring, outside of Shelob’s lair. Frodo collapses, only for Lady Galadriel of the Wood Elves to raise her hand and whisper words of encouragement.
There was more, but I was so inspired that I took another turn in my life for the better.
I ended all communication with my then-ex-girlfriend, who seemed to be getting a kind of twisted pleasure from rubbing all the things her new boyfriend did for her in my face, which I couldn’t due to the cost involved. In the New Testament of the Bible, Jesus Christ said “Forgive your enemies 77 x 7” and “turn the other cheek.” I do that, but I take it a step further, I forgive, but instead of forgetting, I remember, I keep a mental note and leave it to experiment.
I began to accept my financial and relationship situations, and I stopped wanting to control the results of my life with respect to the goals that I set out to achieve. I started investing in self-help courses, like the Sedona Method, started meditating and tapping on the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
They really helped and I continue to practice them to this day.
Going back to my story, after I started the acceptance and abandonment process, I started dating and dating again, and had relationships with three other beautiful young women. I must emphasize that this would not have been the case if he had been desperate for a relationship. It’s funny because the opposite happened. He wasn’t looking for a relationship at all. I just went out for fun.
Regarding my physique, I started to exercise more and was in a better place of physical health. I received frequent compliments on my physique and how good I looked. Here again, I show that I wasn’t looking to be a sexy stud. I only exercised because it made me feel more alive and the gym was a perfect escape for me from my dead-end work and poor living conditions.
Now, regarding the financial aspects of my life, the situation was a bit delicate; He was caught between a rock and a hard place. What I mean is that it was hard for me not to want more money when the money was exactly what I needed to pay rent, transportation costs, and buy food. So that was really a dilemma for me. I struggled with it for a while, then gave up, never ceasing to want to control my financial future.
Understand that wanting to control and really being in control are two different things.
I struggled financially for 3 more months until I decided to return to my parents’ house from the city. So my focus was on full rehab. But something interesting happened: while I was at home, I received two job offers. Here again, I want to emphasize that I did not want a job at the time. I gave myself six months to regroup and the job offer landed when I didn’t consider getting one. “
This is how my friend’s story ends. I gained so much insight from that account, and I hope that you, the reader, will gain some valuable information.
Hence my point that wanting something desperately, as opposed to wanting it, and then letting go of that desire seems, in my experience, to push the object of your desire further away from you.
What is it that you currently desperately want, that the idea of letting go seems irresponsible? Is it a better career? Is it more money to pay off your overwhelming debt? Are you a partner who yearns to feel less alone?
Whatever it is, think ahead 5 years in the future. Imagine achieving that goal. Now, imagine that you are that future self. What would you say to your self that is struggling right now? Would you tell yourself that you should continue to be desperate and needy, and anxious about your goal or desire? Or, as your future self, would you tell your struggling self to relax and take life one day at a time, because it will eventually achieve its goal?
The thing about goals is that sometimes we worry too much, or we let anxiety or peer pressure get the better of us. The goal may not manifest when we want it to, but it will manifest. First you have to be patient with yourself, then with the universe.
Letting go of expectations is the key. This should not be confused with not taking action. You take the right action, like setting up your dream board, doing your daily visualization, saying your affirmations, meditating, praying, whatever it takes to keep you in that positive frame of mind. But you must also let go of the attachment to the expected result, because other miracles could manifest themselves on your journey towards achieving your goal, which you may not notice since you are so obsessed with that particular goal and your limited perception of its result. .
So, take a deep breath, relax, and practice letting go of your expectations to accelerate the manifestation of your goal or vision, or something even better.
There are many courses that facilitate the acceptance and abandonment processes. Some of the daily techniques I use are from the Sedona Method and the Silva Life System.
