I can remember when I was a kid my first taste of beer and wondering what all the fuss was about. I was expecting a wonderful taste, much better than orange juice, even better than strawberries and cream, but no, it was going to be a bitter disappointment, bitter being the key word.
This new drink was SO bitter that it would make you squint your face like you were participating in a gurting competition, I thought maybe it was some kind of mix of sand, soap, salt, petroleum, sulfuric acid and maybe some embalming fluid. It seemed to me that someone was joking around at my expense and at some point someone would come out and give me a glass of REAL BEER, the one that everyone else was drinking and enjoying. But no, this was it, the almighty elixir of life, the drink of champions and solver of the world’s problems. How could he now be a champion, King of the land, leader of the pack, save the world from all that is wicked and evil if he couldn’t even drink this crap? Something would have to give. Oh! Lemonade, English lemonade that is, Sprite for you here in the colonies, ops! Sorry United States. The sweet addition made everything tastier and now I could join the party of life with the greats drinking pint after pint into the wee hours of the morning.
The aim was to look around the pub and see who was doing the best in the game of life, this could be assessed by looking at who drank the most volume, had the most expensive taste, bought the most drinks for each of their friends or , in fact, other people who are not friends, and yet he still managed to appear to be in control of the situation or, in fact, not if he spent enough and you got your share. The real big shots drank what we call gin and tonic, vodka and orange, dry whiskey, etc. The elite drank these alone. While at this early stage of development, I was allowed to have my sugary elixir of beer and lemonade “SHANDY” or lager and lime, the next step, followed by a powerful dynamite booze called scrumpy, “CIDER”.
This three year fellowship was an amazing experience touring drinking establishments in the Midlands and of course knowing where the bathroom was in each and every one of them. All of this was with the goal of finding my ACQUIRED TASTE for the wonderful variety of devilish spirits called BEER. The progression to straight beer was just that, acquiring a taste for this fluid called beer, it had crept into me without me noticing the full effects, my palette had changed and now I accepted this dry, bitter, smooth fluid, I had been fooled and now he went on to experiment with the other things, again adding sweeteners to TAKE ON the flavor. If I liked it, who knows, it wasn’t about the taste, it was about showing off the role and looking rich and paying for it. The more I could drink and shop, the more successful I was, or so I had been led to believe. On a desert island with only the choice of a healthy body and mind fluid to drink, the sane person would prefer water to alcohol, given the choice of all beverages around the world, I can honestly say that if asked what is my favourite. drinking just for the taste, it would be orange juice with the vodka and the orange second only for the effect.
I am now in an extended period of my life where I am alcohol free, my brain has suddenly kicked into gear fueled by my respect for the aging process and the passing of years, I am protecting my health by eating and drinking healthy way and finding one by doing it by thinking about the disgusting taste of beer in my early youth and logically saying to myself “WHY NOT?” orange juice, why should I drink some kind of mixture of sand, soap, salt, petroleum, sulfuric acid and maybe some embalming fluid or should I call it BEER!
