Aren’t you tired of being unhappy and want to build a better marriage? It is truly possible to stop drifting away from the love of your life and reconnect and get the marriage you often dream of.
I know it hurts when all your energy is spent fighting and plotting ways to get under your spouse’s skin. It can easily become a habit to want to get back at your partner for every little thing. Sometimes it seems like a competition to see who can outdo who to irritate each other.
So how do you end the sadness and madness and build a better marriage?
First of all, I suggest that you and your spouse take a break. I know you probably think wait times are for kids, but adults sometimes need to take a break too. You won’t believe how refreshing it can be to take a week off from attacking and hurting yourself with your words or deeds. Accept that for the next 7 days the following will be off limits;
• Screams
• Sarcastic comments
• Rolling your eyes or sighing like a balloon losing air
• Negative comments about your spouse to family, friends or neighbors
• Negative text messages, emails, or voice messages
Next, I suggest you try to replace some of the marriage-killing behaviors with some positive ways to build a better marriage. During the same 7-day period, try doing any of the following;
• Find at least one thing each day to thank your spouse for.
• Do something nice for your spouse that is unexpected. Make the bed, cook a meal, do an overdue project, pick up the kids from school, etc. There are so many ways to be nice to your spouse that you don’t even have to think about it.
• Give your spouse a hug and a kiss in the morning and before bed (even if you still see something and have resentment in your heart, do this)
• Be as polite as possible
• Tell your spouse that you love him.
If you really want to build a better marriage, both of you will take a week and stop doing things that make you feel unhappy, frustrated and angry and feel like you want to get a divorce. Just replace the negatives with behaviors that build the marriage and see if you like the old marriage or the one where you show respect and love for each other, ie the best marriage.
Now, I don’t want to pretend that because you had a great week, all of your work to build a better marriage is over. However, he must once again taste how good and wonderful marriage can be. You will find that you are more intimate and more likely to enjoy being together when you are at peace.
I know firsthand how frustrating marriage can be when you go in opposite directions. If you don’t take steps to build a better marriage now, you are bound to have big problems down the road that can lead to separation or divorce.
