Since you’re viewing this as “getting it back,” that implies you lost it. And it’s very likely that you lost it by doing something really dumb.
So how can you make up for your mistakes and get the girl back? Here are some simple suggestions.
Approach her again only when the time is right
If she’s very hurt or angry, you may need to put your plans on hold for now. Be patient and don’t worry; this is to your advantage, as it just gives you more time to ponder how you will initiate your next set of moves.
How will you know when it’s time? You will probably feel it instinctively. If in doubt, give it six weeks.
Understand the enormous importance of that first conversation
Once you’ve left some space to ease the tension and anger between the two of you, it’s time to try contact again.
Call her on the phone and leave a message with your intentions in a very friendly tone on her voice mail if she doesn’t answer. Try to make her laugh on voicemail too.
If you answer the phone, be direct. Ask him to meet you for lunch and tell him that you have some things you would really like to tell him.
If she flatly refuses to meet with you, at least you’ll have her on the phone for now. Take the opportunity to say a few things you would have said at your lunch meeting: you miss her, you’re sorry for… (give specific examples of why you’re apologizing), you can’t forgive yourself for screwing things up, etc.
But before all this, put their needs first. Ask him how he is and what he is doing in his life. And listen to their responses. You’ll get the necessary information and hopefully get her to open up to you at the same time.
Level up if the phone conversation didn’t go so well
If she cursed at you, hung up on you, etc., then clearly you still have some amends to make with this girl.
Think about how much you want her back; if you decide you love her and have to be with her again, then realize that you’re going to have to go all the way and have a hard time for a while during the reboot process. This will not be easy and she will have to spend a lot of time and money with no guarantee that she will get the results she wants.
If you agree with those facts, turn up the heat a bit. Start with the old standbys: get gifts delivered. This prevents her from getting mad at you directly, but she keeps you in her life so she doesn’t forget you. She won’t curse a flower arrangement or jewelry. Get creative, think of what she would love to receive and send it to her home or office.
Never underestimate the power of gifts! You can’t buy a woman’s affection permanently, but it sure helps you get back in her favor faster if you SHOW her that you can’t stop thinking about her and will do anything to make it work.
Be relentless, in a cute and endearing way
Don’t give up on your efforts. Add personal art and expressions of your affections and regrets (a poem, a drawing, etc.); mix them with your material gifts. It is a combination that few women can resist.
Basically, do things that your friends will make fun of you for. They don’t need to know, obviously, but you know it’s something that could work if you can imagine your kids tearing you apart for being so sensitive and romantic.
Without being a stalker, you can up the cuteness factor and try to charm her back into your arms. Let her know through actions and not actual words that you won’t give up easily and that you have only just begun your efforts to win her back.
Make sure you have changed
If you do eventually get her to start dating you again, all your efforts will have been wasted if you exhibit the same behavior patterns that caused her to leave you in the first place.
So think about it now and how are you going to fix those things that he didn’t like. If you flirt with other women and have a wandering eye, it is highly recommended that you find ways to remedy it immediately.
Maybe you have a tendency to drink too much and be mean when you’re intoxicated. If this is true, start going to AA meetings to get answers and guidance. You don’t have to refer to yourself as an alcoholic or anything, although admitting it out loud would be like pulling a steel beam out of your spine.
Drop the “L Word”
This is something you’ll definitely want to do if you’ve never told her you love her before. Don’t plan it and don’t make it seem forced.
Obviously, you love her if you are willing to go through all the obstacles to get to this point. So keep that in your heart and in the back of your mind. When the time is right to say it, you will know.
Don’t get lazy!
Ok, so you got it back. Congratulations! Now don’t screw it up!
Just because she’s your girl again doesn’t mean you can be lazy and fall back into fucking boyfriend mode. She was willing to give you another chance because of the kindness and care with which you washed her, so don’t stop doing those things. They are her bread and her butter.
This doesn’t mean you have to be a sugar daddy or anything like that. Just be there for her whenever she needs you and be considerate of her needs.
You are happy that you got her back and you can make her happy every day by being a good boy and the boyfriend she deserves.
