When you break up with someone what do you do?
You go through an emotional roller coaster, plagued by pain and confusion, blaming yourself or the other for the breakup.
How you feel? The irrational and negative thought process kicks in. Do I call or not? Do I send a text message or an email? What do I say without sounding desperate?
Then the “shoulds” and “what ifs” are established…an endless rehearsal. : I should have done or said this or that or what if I call or text… what will the reaction be? What if He or she has moved on… feelings of come-on and you get rejection deeper and deeper into this negative mind space?
Nothing you, you don’t feel like talking, you feel depressed interests, you have lost your appetite and you are having constant obsessive thoughts about why He/She has left you. You call and hang up because you have panic attacks… What do I tell you? or constantly checking the answering machine to see if there are any messages.
After going through this initial pain process, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND RELAX…because there is hope…YES, I know you’re shaking your head in disbelief…I bet you do. Couples who broke up and got back together?
What will make your ex feel compelled to call you back? Curiosity, self-interest, and recognition are the most powerful universal forces in the human mind.
So what is the big secret? First of all, you have to be okay with yourself to make amends. Going along with the breakup is the best thing to do.
Your opening move should be – Handwrite a short letter, side with him “I was crazy, but I agree we should break up.” It is extremely helpful to achieve that opening move in a calm and collected manner. “You know what… You’re right, I’m okay with this breakup.”
People always want what they can’t have, the chase makes life exciting and challenging. Acknowledge the positives you experienced during the relationship. “Thanks, I haven’t learned much from this experience” and then let them go and let go of the guilt and pain, which then creates the space for you to begin the recovery process.
Remember that couples meet every day, regardless of the seemingly hopeless situation.
